The Road To Mental Wellness
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The Road to Mental Wellness

Thursday, 20 June 2019

After A Good Run: The ups and downs of mental illness

After A Good Run

For the best part of the last two weeks, the sharp edges of my mental health conditions had seemingly been ground down to  such a degree that I could handle all my triggers so much easier. I think it's a normal thing, to have periods where the storms of the mind recede and in doing so, allow for much smoother sailing.

The brain is a funny organ, it can be quite the trickster when it wants to be. During this time frame I was happier, sleeping better and was much easier to get a long with. My devious little mind had, over that time, tried its best to convince me that I was finally turning a corner, maybe to a place where stability reined supreme and peace acted as the enforcer, to ensure a happy stability was maintained.

I kept telling myself  things like "Maybe I am getting better." and "I don't feel the way I used to." Don't get me wrong, I could feel the storms of mental illness rumbling off in the distant regions of my mind, but it remained off in the distance.

Although the light of this new-found feeling was slightly dulled on some days during this time, it was very manageable. If it could only be kept to this minor difference in the way it felt, man, I think I could reclaim my life and really motor down the road to mental wellness. I wanted, more than anything for this to somehow sustain itself, sadly, its true what they say; all good things come to an end.

So, after a good run the jet black clouds that were but a tiny spec off  in the background came rolling in and with them came the fear, dread and angst that has been an unwanted guest for the majority of my life. You know the type. The kind that just won't leave.

The storm is intense, instead of pouring rain, its dumping down psychological pain. In the last few days I have felt it necessary to seek refuge from the wider world and have remained at home for the majority of the time. I am trying in vain to minimize the impact of this mental storm by using avoidance as my coping tool.

Being well aware that this is not an effective strategy, I have decided, on day three of my mental relapses, to face the storm head on. My plan? Always do the opposite of what is going on. In this particular moment, my plan is to defy the avoidance. I have made contact with a friend, and I am forcing myself out among the living.

Knowing my limits, I have agreed to meet in a place has the minimal amount of people and least amount of noise, opting for a natural setting. As a bonus, it has an exercise component. Essential for  mental wellness,

So, knowing that I have a choice where I put my energy despite that shit show going on in my head, I have decided to take control of the situation and make an effort to alleviate my symptoms. I believe that you can do this too. Despite how you feel, make a plan within your tolerances and see it through. Take back your life, even if its only for moments at a time.

Looking for ways to combat your mental illness? Try here: Self-Help Techniques For Coping With Mental Illness: National Alliance on Mental Illness


You may also enjoy: Society, Anxiety And Depression: How I won my freedom.

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